The Coincidence of a Dream

“In the name of The Father, and of The Son and of The Holy Spirit” says the priest who is celebrating a funeral mass. I’m standing behind the alter and a girl with the Bible in the hand asks me, “When do I go for the First Reading?” “I’ll tell you when to go?” I told her.

“Go now.”

I always believe good things happen in a holy place. I’m standing alone when a girl walks up to talk to my father. Well, I say to myself, ‘not another delay.’ I did not much care for the church crowd. Alright, I’m a shy guy.

My father suddenly blurts out, “Do you know this guy?” I’m like two meters behind my father. I said, “Hi.” She replied back, “Hi.” A recent memory came to my mind of her dancing at a party celebrating the golden jubilee of a couples married life. I tell her, “I have a good memory of beating her in a game of musical chairs as a kid.”

I told her about my college. She told me about hers. Small talk. She then asked, “Can you give me your phone number?” I gladly gave and something made me feel happy.

She is caught outside her house because her sister locks the place and forgets that she never had a key. In a hill station, under the bed sheet she tells me about how cold it is. She talks about how scared she is of lesbians in the back row of her classroom. I decide to worry her saying, “Your lesbian.” She replys, “I hate you.” And again “I hate you.” And again, “I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.”

It’s summer, the kind of season where heat is the main topic. Also, the holiday season is beginning today. When I was least expecting, a call came from her telling me that she was going to come to stay a minute’s walk from my place for a college project.
It made me even happier to see her.

She arrives at the railway station happy to see me again. We move to the beach with all our friends.

We hold hands to balance in the water. I sensed her grip become tighter when a wave came. Jumping and diving, it was total fun. We walk back. I buy her ice cream. I told her, “That fisherwoman is interested in you.” She bites me and says, “I hate you.” Hand in hand we reached her house.

A day passed and in the evening I reach her place. “I’m in the bathroom” is the reply I get. “I’m still bathing.” She says again, many minutes later. She comes out in an off-white dress looking as beautiful as she can be.

We hold hands and start for a walk near a stinky, polluted river full of garbage. “But this evening, under the moonlight, it looks beautiful,” I tell her.
She tells me, “I’m going to call you TuTu.” I ask, “What’s TuTu?”
She answers, “It’s the bunny rabbit toy I had when I was a baby.”
I say, “I’m going to call you a buffalo, an amoeba buffalo that swims this polluted river.”
She looks at me with a weird face. Moments passed, I realize our hands are doing the talking. Hand in hand we communicate and minutes fly by. We reached the starting point. Hours fly as we keep on going in circles. Never did our hands want to separate. But the moment comes when I have to say to myself, “I hate to depart.”

I told her, “I like you, I like you a lot.”

Under the setting sun again, but this time I am alone. She was away to a relative’s place. She calls me and tells me, “I drank a little.” Well I begin speaking and had to listen to the advice and threats of many relatives. I am thinking, ‘this is never going to end.’

She comes back on the line and says, “I love you.” And I feel like the happiest man on Earth.

I tell my cousin and then my best friend about it. They tell me “Let things happen.” Then I start thinking, ‘Where and how do I propose?’

A day flew and the sun has risen. We go to church. I’m still thinking. I knew something is going to give way.

“I love you.” I said. She never reacts and was focuses on the priest.
“I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.” I said loud and clear.
She blurted out happiness.
I ask her, “Did you hear me?” She replies, “Yes.”
I tell her, “Say something.”
“I’m blank.” She replies.

“Go in peace, the mass has ended,” says the priest. A signal comes to take a different path and avoid a nasty relative.

A hot summer day passes and in the evening she comes to my place and surprises me. We hold hands and climb the stairs. I stop and turn towards her. I look into her eyes and she looks down for a second. Then she looks up into my eyes with blinking eyelids. A shiver goes up my spine. I move forward and rest my forehead on hers.

She pushes me and turns her back. She takes two steps away. Her wavy hair bounces. She turns around to look. Her eyes sparkle. Her tanned skin shines. She stands there wearing an off-white dress.

I’m confused. My eyes tell me she’s far away, but my nose tells she’s close. My body moves towards her. I hold her hands tight and rest my forehead on hers. We are breathing heavily. We are scared. I am worried about how she would react if I make a move. She is worried, thinks about me and thinks about how cruel the world could be.

She suddenly closes her eyes as if to forget about the world and hugs me tight. My heart starts racing and body shivering. I was standing because she held me. Seconds pass. She feels warm. A minute passes. All is calm. I hug back. She raises her head and smiles and pushes me away.

She walks as if she was floating.

We run up to the terrace. It is chill. I try to move close but she pushes me away, every time. I say, “Someone’s coming.” I seize the moment, catch her and hold her tight. Realizing the trick, she punches me and screams, “You! You! You!”

We sit down and talk about the moon.

I tell her a joke. She laughs. I tell her a dirty joke. She slaps. I tease her. She bites me. We rest shoulders on each other. A minute of silence passes.

I breathe in and I stand up. She looks up puzzled. I pulled her up gently and allowed her to stand on her own. She gazed in my eye. I say, “You look beautiful.” She says, “There are so many girls more beautiful than me out there.” Emotion just comes out in my words as I say “I feel different right now, you make me…” She smiles. “I think I love you.”

“I love you.”
She asks, “Why do you love me? I’m just an ordinary girl.” I reply, “I don’t know?”
She says, “You just met me.” I say, “I feel like I’ve spent days with you.”
She asks, “How can you fall in love with a girl so fast?” I reply, “I’ve met many in my life, but have never felt like this before. I can’t describe, my hearts racing, my heads spinning and I’m going mad. I have fallen in love with you.”

I ask her, “Do you love me?” She replies, “I don’t know what to say. I got to think.” She looks dazed and her face is a mixture of emotions which I cannot read.

“I got to go. It’s late.” She said. She smiles at me and as she is walking I see her controlling herself not to jump on me and give me a big hug. She bumps into me, puts her hand on her head for a moment. Then she says, “Bye” and rushes away talking to her. I keep looking as she walks. I notice her slightly sneaking a look back.

I return to my room and I catch myself cuddled with a pillow. It’s 2 am in the morning; the sound of my phone disturbs me. I realize it could be her and jump to it. It is her. I pick up.

With a mild voice she asks, “How are you feeling?” I reply, “Still the same.”
She asks, “What are you doing?” I reply, “Cuddling with my pillow”
She says, “I want to tell you something, but I got to tell you in person,” I say, “Ok”
I ask, “I’ll come there now” She replies, “Don’t come, not now”
I ask, “Then when?” She replies, “Tomorrow at 6 pm, same place.”
She says, “I’m sleepy now, Good night.” I say, “Good night. Sweet dreams.”
She replies, “Sweet dreams.”

The next morning I wish her good morning. She tells me she never slept. I ask her what she wants to tell me. But she says that she will only tell in the evening. The day was a dream until it was evening.

I went up a little late. I see her waiting in a beautiful red dress and a little red on the lips.
I tell her, “You look amazing.” She kisses me on the cheek. I kiss back. I ask her what she wanted to tell me.” “How was your day today?” She asks. I tell her, “It was a dream with you in it.” She asks, “What was I doing?” “It was in the night and you appeared like a Goddess and kissed me.”

“Come up,” she says and holds my hand and takes me up the terrace. As she climbs up, I check out her sexy body. “She is hot”, I said to myself. When she turned and looked at me in the eye I knew I needed her and with my heart racing I said, “I’m all yours.” She jumped and hugged me and whispered, “I’m all yours too.”

We spent a minute in warm embrace. She put her hand in her purse and pulled out her headphones. She put one headphone in my ear. We are still in the hug.
‘Queen of my heart’ by Westlife. She put the other in her ear and sang softly. We slow danced.
We did not want the song to end. We turn, hand in hand; we look at the setting sun. It is beautiful. We walk towards it till the terrace end. She keeps her hand on the wall. I keep my hand on hers. She looks at my hand and then up at me. We smile at each other. We look at the sunset. I ask her again, “What she wanted to tell me?”

“You know,” she replied. “I really don’t know,” I say. “Go!” she says and shoves me and turns away. I walk towards her and try to look her in the eye, but she is looking down. I stoop to her level and say, “I really don’t know, tell me what?”

She grabs my hand pulls me toward her and says in my ear, “I love you.”
She tries to get away but realizes she is firmly grasped by me.
I make the first move.
My lips reach hers.
We kiss.

My heart goes racing. I catch her hand and put it on my chest. She feels it.
“Can we kiss again?” I ask. What follows is a flurry of luscious kisses with hands all over and a lot of tongue. My hand goes inside to touch her skin on her back. We take a breather. She breathes heavily. The taste of strawberry lip gloss is in my mouth.
We kiss again. This time I go to feel her ass. She jumps a little, and says, “Naughty,” then gets comfortable. We walk a little hand in hand.

“I will be always yours,” I say. She hugs me tightly. I kiss her and this time I go for her cups. She pushes my hands away, but continues kissing. . …


Then I dream of an amazing night of passion. We are making love. I make her breakfast in bed. We both have a sensual shower together with strawberry soap. We put on our clothes. We find cans of paint near the door. She takes a little paint and splatters it on me. I return back the favor. A paint war begins.

“We’re out of paint.” She gives me a disappointing look. I tell her, “But the place looks beautiful.” She smiles and replies, “It does.” We give each other a hug and we shared the paint which was stuck to our lips.

I wake up and a heavy world looks me in my face.

feminity

so heartless

How could I be so heartless?

Without belief
I never say or do
Inside me
There’s no fire but solitude
Empty spaces
Gut s are frozen and dry-ice fumes
Failure dawns
Pain rises to the high noon

How could I be so heartless?

There was a day
When my heart raced
Every touch took me outta space
All night
We talked about the full moon
One day
I gave my heart I never knew

That I would be so heartless

Even though I tried to tell a few

They told that I was so heartless

How could I be so heartless?

All they said to me was move on
I never spoke a word from then on
When I finished I found a dead end
Nothing left all I dream is my beats end

I wanted to be so heatless

That’s how I became so heartless

That’s why I am so heartless

How can I dream when I’m so heartless?

All they tell
Is don’t dwell in the past
All I say
It never ends till the last
Whatever happens
There’s no smile on my face
All that’s left
Is just a body without a case

Because I am so heartless

How could I be so heartless?

I'm just a boy...

but i'm just a boy
i did understand
till the day you said your finished
and it's too late for any second chance

i do know it hurts
and i do really care
i know i will never forget
what we cherished and disiered in a dance

but i'm just a boy
i never listen
'cause i lie lone on my bed confused
and dream about the words you said

yeah! i'm just a boy
i treated you bad
but i woke up every morning
wishing that i never had

I'm just a boy
i'm not a man
i wish everyday to get back to you
'cause that's who i really am

I'm just a boy...

Starting

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